Films to keep your horniness at bay during an impending apocalypse.

The world hasn’t ended (yet), but your sex life definitely has. Here are some sexy, cinematic masterpieces to watch until the world reopens.

The age of social distancing calls for a moratorium on in-person dating and hookups (Teen Vogue said it, not me). Which means unless you’re lucky enough to be quarantined with your significant other or FWB, you’re likely experiencing an unprecedented level of unfulfilled horniness right now.

Here are a few very hot films to feed your horniness until the world reopens (and we collectively have an absurd amount of threesomes to make up for lost time, right?)

All of these titles are cinephile-approved.

Translation: Don’t worry about hiding them from your watch history. If anyone asks, you viewed them “in the name of art” and look forward to discussing them at the post-COVID-19 dinner party (or at this rate…wine and cheese sex party).

The Dreamers (2003)

Bernardo Bertolucci’s romantic drama, set against the backdrop of the 1968 Paris student riots, is the love triangle you’ve dreamed of. An American university student studying in Paris enters into an erotic friendship with free-spirited twins Théo and Isabelle, played by Louis Garrel and Eva Green (aka the ultimate threesome). Not only is this movie steamy (did I mention the part about a nude Louis Garrel and Eva Green?), it’s a feast of poetic imagery, beautifully-composed shots, and a rich soundtrack of everything from Jimi Hendrix to Françoise Hardy. This film is cinematic (and sexual) gold.

The Handmaiden (2016)

Park Chan-wook’s critically-acclaimed, erotic, psychological thriller is two and a half hours of seduction, lust, and intrigue set in 1930s Japanese-occupied Korea. It expertly choreographs an intricate dance of desire and deceit, taking unexpected twists and turns as a Korean con man hires a woman in a plot to seduce and fraud a Japanese heiress out of her inheritance. Rich in cinematic details, beautifully seductive, silk-robed opulence and perverse thrills, The Handmaiden is a decadent and sexy-as-hell watch.

Newness (2017)

If you’re looking for a threesome film in the age of dating apps, Newness is for you. From the director of Like Crazy (which also deserves a place on this list…), this romantic drama follows a couple in Los Angeles navigating the world of hookup apps and open relationships. The beautiful, intimate cinematography captures the intoxicating “newness” and passion of a relationship in its early days. Nicholas Hoult and Laina Costa are electric on screen; it’s difficult not to fall for them as their relationship(s) play out on screen set to a dreamy, indie soundtrack.

Call Me By Your Name (2017)

This film oozes seduction like a ripe, summer peach (if you know, you know…). Based on the just-as-steamy and poetic novel by André Aciman, Call Me By Your Name captures the intoxicating lust and infatuation of first love. Elio and Oliver’s relationship is set to a picturesque landscape of 1983 Northern Italy and scored by a mélange of classical sonatas and original Sufjan Stevens songs. This film will melt you into a puddle of tears, lustful sighs, and nostalgia for a steamy, summer fling you never had.

This film is the final installment of director Luca Guadagnino’s “Desire” trilogy. If you’re looking for more, also watch “I Am Love” (2009) and “A Bigger Splash” (2015).

Brokeback Mountain (2005)

Before Call Me By Your Name, Brokeback Mountain offered the lustful longing, picturesque landscapes, and solid gay chemistry we all desired. Set in 1963, Ang Lee’s award-winning, romantic drama explores the complexity of the emotional and sexual relationship between rodeo cowboy Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal) and ranch hand Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger). Ledger and Gyllenhaal’s performances are extraordinary; this film will simultaneously turn you on and break your heart in the most poetic way possible.

As an aside, I’d like the world to know this image of Jake Gyllenhal in this amazing t-shirt exists on the Internet for all of posterity.

Y Tu Mamá También (2001)

Because this list needs one more threesome film… Alfonso Curon’s Y Tu Mama También is not only hot but also a beautiful piece of cinema that effortlessly blends comedy, drama, and sex into a memorable, coming-of-age narrative. The film follows two teenagers (Diego Luna and Gael Garcia Bernal) who take a road trip with an older woman. As the story progresses, the trio’s joy and sexual exploration is contrasted against the economic and political realities of late-90s Mexico. This film is a must see, and also a clear reminder that Diego and Gael were destined for stardom from the start.

Nymphomaniac Vol.I and Vol.II (2013)

The title speaks for itself. Charlotte Gainsbourg. A ton of sex. Voila. This two-part erotic art film by Lars von Trier (which received an NC-17 rating but was ultimately released without an MPAA rating) follows Joe, a self-diagnosed nymphomaniac, as she recounts a lifetime of erotic encounters. In case you’re wondering, yes, a very long director’s cut is available.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)

Penélope Cruz, Javier Bardem, Rebecca Hall, and Scarlett Johansson…as if the star-studded cast wasn’t enough for Vicky, Christina, Barcelona, imagine all of them entangled in a complicated and passionate summer in Spain. When two American friends vacation in Barcelona, a painter (Javier Bardem…who else?) invites them on a trip to Oviedo to, in his words, “eat well…drink well…[and] make love.” Things get complicated when his passionate, and a tad crazy, ex-wife (Penélope Cruz) arrives and heats things up even further.

Blue is the Warmest Color (2013)

Based on a 2010 graphic novel of the same name, Blue Is The Warmest Color is an award-winning French romance that follows a teenager’s (Adèle Exarchopoulos) discoveries of passion, desire, and freedom after meeting Emma (Léa Seydoux), an aspiring painter. The film shocked critics at its Cannes premiere with its graphic, and at times gratuitous, lesbian sex scenes. If you’re looking for a ravenously passionate story of queer desire, look no further than this film.

Love (2015)

This list would not be complete without a Gaspar Noé film. It’s clear from the first 3 minutes of this film it’s NSFW. Known for it’s unsimulated sex scenes (which premiered in 3D at Cannes), Love is the closest thing to full-blown porn you will find on Netflix. If you’re down for surreal lighting, haunting electronic music, and a man reliving his sexual past while on an opium trip, this is for you (particularly if you’ve reached peak, apocalyptic levels of horny).